I am running around like a headless chicken. I have 30 minutes to vacuum the floor, hang the washing out and clear away the breakfast things before I start work.
I get it done, but I know there is still dust behind the sofa……hell there is dust on the side table too. I really should strip the beds whilst the sun is shining, but I also have a load of towels that need to wash. But it all has to wait….I have 5 hours before school pick up.
And now starts the craziness. I have a four recipes to re-test, three extra recipes to shoot and one recipe to write up, post and social media the bejesus out of.
I hit social media, the US is still awake and I can get some good traction on yesterdays post. I check my stats, they are down on last week. I curse the summer body diet, no one wants gooey cheese and potatoes when they are trying to get into a bikini. Well apart from me, I always want cheese….and anyway do they even make bikinis in a size 18? I admit I haven’t looked! Why would I…I love cheese!
I find all the salads on my blog…it doesn’t take long. I schedule them out to hit pinterest overnight. Thank you tailwinds I love that you do the work whilst I get some sleep!
I continue my push for social media domination, until facebook decides I have cleared posted too much. It deletes my latest comment as soon as I hit enter. Time to walk away from the computer before they ban me for 3 days….It happened once, it wasn’t pretty!
Fast forward two hours as I burn my wrist getting a tray out the oven and drop the tray over the floor. Looking at the brown sugar glazed bacon chicken bites, I want to cry……I know they are good, I have made them so many times before, but I was so looking forward to them. I pick them off the floor, and start to place them back on the tray. They are no longer fit to eat but they will still take a decent photo….at least all isn’t wasted.
I tell myself not to feel bad. It isn’t like I am throwing away edible food. I am certain there is dog hair on that bit….hmmm maybe I will give that one straight to the dog….At least someone gets to enjoy them. Start to wonder if a dog should have bacon and brown sugar…too late she has demolished the bits left on the floor….I still have enough…just….. I’ may have to crop the photo slightly and maybe rearrange them on the plate, take a second photo and merge the two! Or I can wait until the weekend when I’ll make them again when our neighbours come over……
Later I open the fridge to grab the cheese for a hot dip…..it has vanished! I know I bought some, I have the receipt and I have already scanned it into my computer ready to file for tax. Someone has eaten my bloody cheese!!!! Tell myself I really need a seperate fridge…hell I really need a seperate office with kitchen, studio and computer space. Remind myself I have already costed that out and there are so many other things we could do with that money. Like take the kids to Europe for Christmas, let them spend a wintery Christmas with their grandparents. Tell myself that I am a selfish mother and I should stop moaning about a sodding block of cheese and a massive fridge. Feel shit so steal the last white chocolate lindt easter egg. Fingers crossed the kids don’t notice!
I pack the dishwasher, open the cupboard and realise there are no tablets left. Bugger!!! I have a kitchen of dirty dishes and 3 recipes left to cook. I squirt washing up liquid into the dishwasher, press go and hope for the best.
I run outside to cut some fresh basil…one of the only plants my lovely goat hasn’t decimated!!! I’m in my ‘work uniform’ aka black yoga pants and a white vest top, I didn’t do my hair this morning and yesterdays mascara is still streaked across my face, just as I reach the vegetable garden I hear a “g’day”. It’s Fred, the postie, and as I take our mail and make small talk, all the time I am thinking, “This is the forth day in a row he has seen me in what are essentially pj’s. I bet he thinks I never get dressed!”
I go in and put my bra on…a little too late but I resolve tomorrow to have it on before he arrives!!!!
No time to think about. I have a pasta dish to shoot. The plate is wrong, the napkin is wrong, the light is just urgh and no matter what I do I cannot make this amazing delicious dish look amazing! I want to cry. It is 1:45 and I have less than an hour of my working day left.
I take a million shots from 10 different angles and hope for the best. I’ll fix in post later. I mute the voice inside that says ‘you’ll have to spend 10 times as long editing these. You haven’t got the hero shot’ I continue to ignore her as I grab the so perfectly placed fork and shovel now slightly cold pasta into my mouth. MAN I LOVE CARBS
The buzzer goes and I run from my studio back to the kitchen to remove a chicken from the oven and slip the baked cheesecake in. I forget to turn the heat down….I remember as I am half way through shooting the chicken. I run back to the kitchen. Turn the oven down and head back to my shoot. If the cheesecake isn’t ruined at least I can tell the readers my funny story and let them know that 10 minutes in an oven that is 30ºC too hot, makes no difference.
I finished my chicken, reach for a gorgeous cake platter that I picked up in an op shop in Donnybrook, it slips and smashes to the floor. Damn you roast chicken and your greasy goodness!!! Had I not stolen a sneaky bite, I might still have my beautiful platter. I look at the broken base and wonder, can I glue it? Or will it always show. Will I spend every shoot trying to position the platter just so. I can’t decide and I have no time, so I shove it back on my props shelving and reach for another platter. Cheesecake shoot here we come.
My school alarm goes and I am just finished. My kitchen looks like a bomb has hit it and I can see bubbles escaping from the bottom of the dishwasher (note to self don’t use washing up liquid in the dishwasher again!)
No time to worry about that now, I have two cherubs to pick up.
I plug my phone in and dictate myself a blog post as I drive to school. I’m a little late, the bell hasn’t gone but the car park is rammed! I squeeze my tiny car into a space that everyone else couldn’t use and smile a slightly smug smile. The smile doesn’t last long. As I get out of the car I realise I have cheesecake mixture on my yoga pants and something brown on my vest. Hmmmm I think it is is bourbon maple glaze from my roast chicken dish. But hey at least I went and put that bra on!
No time to think about it, I walk to my sons classroom, sunglasses firmly over my eyes, avoiding any eye contact. I am thinking about the 20 things I need to do later. Planning my evening. I don’t have time to small talk…plus I hate it.
No luck, the small brigade of Mum’s who just make me feel bad are there in force. Today they need us ‘stay at home mums’ to spend a day painting a fence. I grit my teeth, say sorry I can’t spare the time and walk away from ‘the look’.
What a day!
I catch one of my besties smile, I am about to say hi, when our other bestie appears. They know!!My clothes and hair say it all “We still on for gin night on Saturday?” “Hell yes!”…my day gets a little better.
Then the classroom door opens and my youngest whirlwind sprints towards me and gives me the biggest of hugs. My day is 1000% improved.
I get back to the car and my eldest (who is now too cool and too old to be collected from his classroom…..where did that time go!!!!) says “You look messy Mummy, I bet there is some good food for afternoon tea” my day improves again.
Homework, washing, kids dinner. 8pm all quiet. I re-heat the bourbon roast chicken for Stew. He is over the moon happy with it, licks his lips and smiles when I tell him there is cheesecake for dessert. “You look after us so well”
I smile as I sit down at my desk, I reply to a few emails, message my business coach and start some sharing and marketing of my latest post. It is after 11pm when I am done.
I walk to the bathroom to have a shower, and as the water washes over me I think ‘Damn my day was good’!!!!
More of the same tomorrow…..
It isn’t easy working for yourself and it isn’t easy working from home. But when I decided that my little blog was going to become my full-time business I made myself a promise, I would give it my best. I would work my ass off to make it a success. And hey if it didn’t succeed at least I could say I gave it everything I had. I’ve had some very tough times, time I really didn’t think I would bounce back from. But I kept slogging away, working, learning and never giving up.
I am lucky. I had a support network.
I have some beautiful friends who can lift my day just by smiling (and mentioning gin). They always take my food handouts and I know I can meet them and just feel better about myself.
I have a wonderful business coach, who believed in me from the beginning. Who gave me so many tips that I should probably be making her a cake on a weekly basis.
I have met some amazing bloggers who share and support each other, we are spread over the world, and even though some of us have never met in person, we are like one big office of co-workers. Seriously the world of bloggers is a supportive place.
I have a family who support what I do, supported me in the beginning when I couldn’t take photos and when 200 views a day was the most I ever thought I would get.
A family who appreciate the food, which is the point of it all. Without the food I would just be a girl with a computer and not much to say! I also have a partner who will work way into the night to fix an issue for me, because he knows I am stressed, he knows it matters to me and he is my tech guy!
Finding the support is vital, you may run our own businesses but you aren’t not an island, you don’t have to be cut off. Find your group, your village, your possie. Whatever you want to call it.
FIND THE PEOPLE WHO WILL RISE YOU UP.
Find them and love them, hold on to them and push for your dreams.
Your village will make a difference, for me they gave me something so very valuable…something I couldn’t have found on my own. They gave me self belief.
I am still learning it and I still have moments of doubt, moments when I judge myself, moments when I think I am not good enough.
But when I feel like that I remind myself, I knew nothing when I started. I learnt a whole new computer programme, I learnt to take a decent photo, I learnt to edit photos, I built up my knowledge of SEO in the every changing landscape of Google, I hit pinterest by storm and racked up 2 million monthly viewers. I did that and I am a little bit proud.
So, yes, working from home for yourself isn’t easy, but with the support of people who love you….you can achieve your dreams.